This kid has my heart forever

Please pardon the overtly flowery title of this post. It's just what I'm feeling today.

I know most moms feel this way about their babies. I certainly feel this way about my older child too.

But you know, sometimes you have one of those perfect moments and the clarity of your love sharpens and comes into focus.

Last night Sproggy and I were laying in my bed, I was scrolling through some Facebook postings, keeping an eye on the Super Bowl highlights while she laid next to me took turns babbling and taking some sips from her bottle. It was clear she really wanted my attention, to play and have fun, but knowing it was way past her bedtime, I pretty much ignored all her attempts to engage with me.

Then, slowly, the babbling slowed and her eyes started closing slowly. I purposefully avoided eye contact with her, propped on a pillow right next to mine.

After a few minutes of quiet, with just her lullabyes playing softly on my phone, I turned to check if she was asleep. Her eyelids were nearly closed but her eyes were shifted, fixed on my face, staring at me, almost as if using The Force to get my attention on her. I couldn't help but start to laugh. Then she slowly started to smile. I laughed more. She smiled more. Repeat. I said "My God, you have my heart forever."

Now, that language is NOT typical of me. I'm not poetic, I'm not flowery in my language at all. These words just came from a place in me that only my kids can tap into. They just sometimes bubble up without warning.

I'm finally coming around to the understanding that, even if she's not typical, she's still somehow perfect. I'm like that scene in Love Actually, where Rick Grimes holds up the cue cards to Keira Knightly which say "To me, you are perfect." That's how I feel about her. I mean, maybe these people who have intellectual disabilities have a much better understanding of how life is SUPPOSED to be lived. Sproglet only knows how to love. Even when her big brother is crushing her with one of his monster hugs, or shrieking in her face, she looks back at him with the most adoring smile.

And she does the same with everyone else too. No one is safe from one of her gushing squeals, which her older cousin told me make her sound like a velociraptor. She lives to connect with and make others smile. What a noble gift to be given. It's like looking at a totally pure soul, innocent, sweet and, I don't know... Close to God, I guess? She may make me believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason.